Today I dedicate this post to my Mother. Helena McMillan. She is my constant source of love, wisdom, compassion and support. She is first my Mom, then mentor and friend. She is an inspiration in my spiritual walk as she is the one who set me on the right path. In her art in which she is so talented, in her intelligence and in her beauty. The most inspiring thing about her is her compassionate heart and faithfulness to God.
The following is a letter she wrote to me as I graduated from high school. How blessed am I that God chose such an amazing woman to lead me through this amazing journey called life!
Enjoy.
Some things to Remember
Dear Jackie,
I've been wondering what special thing I can say to you on your graduation day. I didn't see you in the processional or recessional. Since we were in the balcony I was unable to see your expression of joy or sadness- whatever you felt. I did hear your name called, you received congratulation and walked across the stage and just as surely as you crossed that stage you took the final steps of your twelve years in school. Then you turned left the platform and joined your peers.
There will come a day when you into the world to join others of your generation, just as you did on graduation day. I ask several thing of you. Please remember who you belong to first and above all. You ARE a child of Christ and He will never turn His back on you. It may seem you are alone but remember that besides The Lord you do have friends here. Where? Who? If you can't thinkof anyone your own age there are older women who are willing to listen. Remember our friends and relatives and go to them. Never, never feel you have to deal with a problem all by yourself. None of us can. We're just not strong enough. that's why the Lord Jesus has placed special people in our lives. He knows what our needs are and who can fill them.
Remember that you are a very valuable person. J.J. you've made some good friends along your way. Always remember Mrs. Wallace. You mean an awful lot to her. You have gained the respect of Mrs. Krause and Mrs. Blough because you've never forgotten her and they've seen how it has helped her. You've made friends at camp, retreats, and youth conferences. You are a loyal friend and because your principles are high have been chosen to share the confidences of others. You've been influential in some of your friends turning to Christ.
You may be impatient, but remember that if you allow Jesus to do His will He will prepare, and is preparing right now, someone who suits your specific unique needs. Be very careful of the type of person you trust your love and life with. If he belongs to Christ, you have the foundation of your relationship. "just friends" is another important ingredient- there has to be something left after the butterflies are gone making friendship very important.
There seem to be times when you're troubled that I can't help you. I don't have just exactly the correct words that would express the way I feel, or the correct words that would calm you, and put your mind at ease. It's then that I wish I could pick you up, hold you tight and carry you throught the difficult places, like I did when you were tiny. I know someday you will have the same thoughts and feelings as I, and you will understand...Take heart though because you needn't walk those troubled pathways alone. You see, you've been committed to the Lord by us, your parents. We've asked Him to always watch over you, guide you, and draw you nearer to Him. Jackie, YOU will NEVER be alone. You may feel or even act insecure sometimes, but I think you have an inner strength that comes from being tested. I think you have an inner confidence and determination that even you may not realize you have. This is probably why your friends feel secure when confiding in you.
When the nurse first brought you to me I thought, "Pink, just like a baby girl is supposed to be. " You were so quiet and sweet. I thought only of my responsibility as a mother. It didn't seem to take much effort to be your mother though. You slept and ate. As you grew you played contentedly by yourself or with Jimmy. He was so proud of you too. He wanted som much to take care of you, holding your hand when you needed guiding and watching out for you. He's still the same way, both of you have grown up that's the only difference. Remember how much he cares.
You were always a happy child it seemed, and always ready for a hug. I never speculated that we would one day become good friends. Most times we're so compatable, yet there are times when we're terribly at odds. I want you to know that I don't want you to hurt or suffer because of love gone awry. I also know that there are times when unless we get hurt we don't seen to grow or learn to trust Christ's judgement for our lives. I know that now through life experience and I would like you to take my word for it. It doesn't seem fair somehow that such a sweet little child should have to suffer sadnesses like you have experienced. The Lord tells us though that after we have been tested we shall come forth as gold (Job 23:10). He also says that we are not the only ones who have been tempted and that He provides a way out when we are. (1 Corithians 10:13) Those are promises that I sincerely hope you remember to claim.
I want you to develop your own personality, but to do this you must listen, watch, take note, sort out what is worth keeping in mind, and throw out the rest. Be honest with yourself, even if it hurts. There is no bigger fool than someone who is fooling himself.
And what do I wish for you? That you will be happy with yourself because of the person you have become, and if you're not, the ability to change that. That you will be at least as happy on your wedding day as you looked on Graduation Day. That the Lord will send that special someone to you soon and together you will follow Him. I wish you the gift of love. Love first of all for Jesus, He is yours and you are His. Love for yourself, for your brother, your parents, your friends and then finally and eventually for your husband and children.
You have grown from a little sweetie into a beautiful young lady. You've always had a terrific sense of humour, and yet you possess a seriousness and common sense which surprises even me, but makes me feel proud. You've been described as an "awesome woman". Don't forget who said that. Greg Speck doesn't strike me as the type of person who would throw compliments like that around very quickly.
Right now you will experience a few sad days remembering friends you haven't seen or won't see for awhile. You do have memories, phone numbers and addresses, and the ability to use them. You must take those final steps away from the past and look toward the future; towards new adventures and promises. You are still very young, although you are considered an adult, responsible for yourself. Look toward the future with hope, secure in the knowledge that you were meant to be born; that you have a purpose. There is a reason for you being here, so set your goals, keep your standards high, and with God's help you'll reach them. The saddest thing would be for you not to grasp the opportunities within this adventure.
most of this is typed so you could read it properly. There are mistakes here and there, but that is really what life is like. The content of this letter I hope reflects love, hope and charity. "But the greatest of these is love."
With love always, and forever,
Mom
My amazing Mom wrote this to me 27 years ago. It still brings tears to my eyes whenever I read it. I am SO BLESSED to be able to say that I had the best Mom that God could have given me to lead me through life, to walk beside me as my best friend ever, to inspire me with her love, her art, her intelligence, her singing, her writing, her poetry, her patience and her love for God. I am grateful that I can tell her this while she is alive. I pray for those who can't. I am so grateful I have children of my own now to love, to teach and to hopefully inspire as much as she did me and continues to do.
To THE most inspiring woman I know..... My Mom, I love you more than words can say!
with love always and forever,
Jackie xoxo
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