Labels... I've never been a fan.
Yet we all do it.
We see someone and make a snap first impression. We label people.
Tall, short, fat, skinny, athletic, lazy, smart, dull, fun, boring, young, old, wise, immature, flighty, the list goes on. At times we can even put cruel labels on people like "trash, pathetic, loser". Its sad really.
At some point in my life ...adolescence... a certain group of people labelled me "a rebel". "A bad girl".
It wasn't my parents, it wasn't my brother. it wasn't even my extended family....as far as I know anyway...lol.
It was...get ready for it...people in my church.
This is not a bash against my church family, so stay with me.... I have a point. Obviously it's not only people in the church that label people...ALL of us do it....sometimes without even realising it. It's human nature. I catch myself doing it all the time. Sometimes I have to reprimand myself even. I was raised by my parents to get to know the real person behind the label... you know... the old saying... don't judge a book by its cover. Don't just believe what people say about a person...find out for yourself.
In my journey in this life, in this world, I have had the pleasure of meeting so many unique individuals I couldn't possibly count them all. People fascinate me, they always have. I've always had an almost insatiable curiosity. I love meeting people, yet I get very uneasy at times in crowds of people I don't know, yet I will sit down with one person and get to know them. One at a time at least... I guess that what made me a good hairstylist...lol. I'm an introvert, I'm shy at times. I don't do small talk and yes I blurt out my life story to whoever wants to listen. I'm an open book. Sometimes too open. I love to hear peoples story. Everyone has one. Whether they feel they have lived a charmed or blessed life or not, everyone has extreme highs and devastating lows. We all have a story to tell. We all have triumphs that inspire others whether it is a triumph through trials or success of goals achieved. We can inspire and up lift each other.... if we choose too. There in lies the rub. We must choose.
I need to get back to my point here...
It was challenging, being so shy as a child, to make friends. I was very very very shy!! I would scope out one person that would be approachable and say hi....can I hang with you...do you want to be friends? Something along those lines and they would usually say "sure" and I'd be set. I was good at reading people from a very early age...in fact.. as long as I can remember. I was too young to know about "reputation" or "labels" , I just wanted to have one person to hang with. I'm referring to groups or clubs I'd be a part of in school or church. School was a little easier as we had a lot of kids on our block and we all went to the same school so we started school together so there really wasn't that feeling of starting school and not knowing anyone. When we became more active in the church, it was a bit more difficult.
I, myself had been involved in Sunday school and girls groups in the church as a young girl and again very shy in a group of kids that seemed to all know each other so well. Again I would watch and scope out the people that seemed approachable and say hi. I've made life long precious friends in the church. Unfortunately, at times, my parents would be called by other parents and they would say to my parents that I was hanging out with the "wrong" people. My parents would talk to me about it and ask me what my opinion was. I'd explain that all the "right" people were.....hmmmm.....not interested in allowing me to hang out with them... as I was not this way or that, I didn't wear this designer or that, I didn't live near them or whatever the reason. The so called "wrong" people I knew were accepting of who I was, didn't want to change me and I didn't understand why they would be labelled as "wrong". I would discuss with them the conversations I'd have with my friends and they were satisfied that I was a good judge of character and trusted my choices. My parents would then get to know my friends for themselves. See I had parents that led by example and had always made it known that the lines of communication were always open. It was so normal in our family I took it for granted. I knew I could always talk to someone. I was and am very blessed in family.
This apparently was not the norm...this was something I didn't understand. While no family is perfect , I had no idea of anything different. Again I loved to get to know the people that wanted to get to know me. Sometimes though, their stories tore at my very heart and soul. Yet no one seemed to care about the reasons behind the "rebels" actions. I'm not saying it justifies bad behaviour... but there is always a back story. If there is an ounce of compassion in your soul , learning a person's back story at least lends some understanding of their personality and behaviours.
I then, by senior high was labelled "rebel", whether "guilty" by association or through my own actions. '
This surprisingly was o.k. with me. The alternative. To be a follower of the masses was not ok with me. I was raised to be genuine, to accept people, to listen for God's voice. To obey and respect my parents. To treat others as I would like to be treated. I simply enjoyed people who felt the same. Yet I found it fascinating to study the "elite" from a distance. Not because I wanted to be a part of any elite group. I found it fascinating to watch these creatures that seemingly "had it all" or so they acting as though they did, and wonder how they could be so judgemental, so hurtful, so very ....hurt and sad. I felt sad for them. Just be you.... I would think to myself. "Why be a hater? " I didn't get it. Don't get me wrong though. ... As shy as I was.. I could be very outspoken and defensive.... at times having little to no tact what so ever. I was a teenager... a work in progress.... tact wasn't yet a natural thing for me.
Graduation from high school came and a new stage of life started. My hairstyling years. 30 years of deep conversations with clients and I am still fascinated with getting to know people. I feel at times somewhat of an expert at reading between the lines. I was happy and content.
then my husband and I finally were blessed with babies. I had just turned 40 when we were blessed with our first child. I had miscarried a year and half earlier. Life was beautiful! Another chapter in my life began. Two years later a second son. Life was still beautiful, so blessed, and yet something shifted. depression and anxiety came calling in full force. I didn't understand. I was so blessed. I was in the fight of and for my life.
The God I always knew yet had taken for granted was about to make a profound appearance in my life. I started down a very hard yet healing road. Having to look and walk down the past as God had shown me there was some festering wounds that I had ignored or tried to heal by myself that needed our combined attention.
I had lost myself.
The she little girl, the loving and happy little girl had grown to be a bit rebellious as a teenager, moved on to be the servant (in the best possible way) as a stylist, the wife and now the mother. I had wrapped my identity in labels.
I had been a stylist for so long. A successful stylist. It wasn't only my job, it was my passion. It encompassed everything I was. My love of styling and coloring hair. My love of studying people. My love of listening and sharing with amazing people. I had learned another thing. To always put on the brave and happy face. The stylist mask. I am happy, I am here for you.
Yet now... I was a mom. Though I had a wonderful and amazing mother, I had no idea... I had no idea that these little humans had to be trained. lol... Taught to know right from wrong. Manners, and of course to know their Creator. The overwhelming responsibility for their very souls felt too heavy!
Though they are my precious babies that I love so much and this is my greatest joy, still
I cried out to God. Show me. I can't feel you with me.
He did... and continues too.
I won't get into that whole leg of the journey but wow!! I may have had to rewalk some painful past events but I wasn't alone. My God was there... right beside me explaining everything, the whys the whats the how He can use this or that for good, because I love Him and He loves me.
I had come to realize my passion for the "rebels" of this world came from experiences in my own life. That at 3 years old when surrounded by older male cousins being told "if you do this everyone will love you" .... planted a seed. A seed that could have grown many different directions. By the grace of God I didn't have to end up doing what they wanted me to do.... but the seed was planted. Through out the years my back would get up when people used that phrase.... "Everyone will love you if..."
If you wear the right clothes, if you act the same way as them. If you do what the want and say. I must admit if I was a rebel at all, I was a rebel when someone asked me to do something I was not comfortable doing. Whether that was in school, work or church. You'll be accepted if.... These are phrases I do not understand. How about .... just get to know someone. How about just enjoy the differences and similarities in each other. God loves diversity... He went to all this trouble to make us unique.... why must we instinctually want to conform each other to our own image?? Human nature I guess... but we rob ourselves of seeing God's beauty in others...don't you think?
I am so incredibly grateful for every single "rebel" in my life. You are beautiful, you are awesome, I have learned so much from you. You are unique. You are beloved! You are true to who God made you! I have amazing people in my life...at home, at church and in my groups I volunteer with. I am grateful for you because you were chosen.
In case you are wondering. I don't blame anyone for the "uncomfortable experiences" in my life. I have learned it's the voice of the enemy that wants to steal your joy and stop you from fulfilling your purpose in life. What I have learned is there is a reason for everything. to make a decision when feeling broken.... now what?? Now, I pray, I read , and I listen for God's voice. I learn and allow God to use whatever experience for good. I do what I can for others, as small as those things are. THAT is who He made me. To be a light to others. To my family, to my friends, and to those He puts in my path. I am a child of God. I am beloved. I am His. I am a daughter, a wife, a mother , a cousin, an aunt , a friend.
Those... are the only labels that matter to me.
