These last couple of years have been incredible.  Some incredible tough times and some incredibly fantastic times.  My faith and relationship with Jesus Christ has grown very personal and intimate and continues to leave me in a state of awe as I seek to get to know my Saviour as the days go by.  I have let go of a lot of bitterness, grudges and anger.  I've forgiven and sought forgiveness and the sense of peace and relief God has granted me is nothing short of miraculous.

I've gone from feeling horribly inadequate and insecure every time I walk into my church to feeling like I am a part of God's family.  A daughter of God.  A princess of the King of Kings.   My passion to share my love and admiration for the "Lover of my soul" grew fast and furious.  I offended some, apparently may have inspired others. I just wanted to share this incredible unconditional love and peace and forgiveness that I found in having an intensely personal relationship with  the One and Holy God. Creator of the universe, creator of heaven and earth.  Creator of little old me.

I jumped right in after being inspired by our new Pastors and their wives.  Finally after too many years to count I was encouraged to get involved after expressing a desire to do so.  To my surprise there wasn't a response like  "Oh now is not a good time to bring in someone new."  The response was... "Alright lets get you plugged in".  To be honest I was used to the previous response.  Anything I was asked to get involved in I did.  I was loving it.

Then something started to speak to me deep inside.  Are you doing all this for the glory of God? Are you serving with a true servants heart?  Stop running away.  I thought... What??? I thought this is what I was supposed to do... I thought this is what God was calling me to do.  Then tragedy struck our family in the form of a sudden and tragic loss of our sister Joanne.  Forcing me to step back and take care of my family, immediate and extended.  This went on for the entire last year and then some.  I entered a very meditative period.  Quiet.  Listening for God's word, wisdom, direction.  This is what I believe I have learned.

Showing God you love Him and want to do His will for life isn't just in the groups, ministries and "widowed and orphaned"that we are called to help and be a part of.  It's in our every day thoughts, actions and movements.  It's taking care of our families.  Spending alone , quality time talking to our spouse about concerns and joys.  Spending quality time with our children.  Taking care, with love and respect of the gifts God has given us.  Our parents, our spouses , our children, our friends.  Our houses, possessions etc.  Not being in pursuit of more than we need but sharing what we have in abundance.   Sharing our talents and gifts with others because God gave you that gift for a purpose.  To carve out time to spend in ministry to others.  To do what God has called you to do but for and with the right motive.  Not to show the world what a great "Christian" you are because you do that this and the other thing for the church.  I'm not trying to offend anyone who is very involved in the church in many different aspects. I think it's fantastic.  I also think if people have small children and feel the need to spend more time with them for the very short season that they are small and step back from being involved with so many activities, it's ok.  That we should not judge but understand.  Keep us in the loop and continue to pray.

I love the church I attend and have been blessed to have understanding women both friends and mentors surround me.  I believe I have heard God's voice and doing what I believe he has called me to do for this season of my life.  What upsets me is when others in the similar situation to mine are being judged because they have stepped back  for the same reasons and being "dropped like hot potatoes" by the groups they are involved in.  It's hurtful and frustrating to see.    Lets be more aware of those in our midst.  Just because they are out of sight for a season doesn't necessarily mean they have slipped back into old habits.  Maybe it means they are just taking care of personal family business.  When people trust us with very personal events that have happened  to them , lets not share it with everyone we know.  Keep them in your prayers and give them a call every once in a while.

May you be richly blessed and bless others.