It's early for me, yes me, to be pondering. Normally I try not to think too deeply in the morning, well atleast not until my first pot of coffee is on the go and I have a steaming cut of my favorite vanilla coffee in my hand. When it is warm out, I like to sit in my back yard, breathe in the fresh, crisp morning air and thank God for another day. To bless us and make it a beautiful and productive day.
This morning it was a little "too crisp" to sit outside so I stood in my kitchen as I enjoyed my coffee and picked up my morning devotional book that I keep on the counter. I've decided that it is a great start in the morning. It's short, there are no questions to answer but it really puts my mind in the right direction for the day.
This mornings devotion reads as follows:
TIME IS SHORT
"I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together."
John 4:35-36
The fields are ready for harvest. God knows that people, many people are ready to hear the salvation message. They are ready to accept Christ, but they have to hear the message. It must make Him sad that some of those He has appointed to sow the seed are not doing the job.
Each of us has a role to play in bringing others to Christ. You may sow, you may water, you may reap. Whatever your job is, get busy and do it. Time is short.
This is taken from "One minute devotions for women" by Carolyn Larsen
As I finished reading it, I decided this deserved a few minutes of pondering, so with coffee in hand I went to my back yard, knowing my children were occupied with "the cat in the hat".
What I came up with or rather what I felt the Holy Spirit guided my thoughts to, was not what I expected. I thought He would have shown me an answer or atleast guided me in the right direction as to where he wants me to serve. I have had many directions in mind for myself lately. Should I continue getting involved with Women's ministries, or young people as "bullying" is a problem in our society that is close to my heart. Or because I have small children should I be more involved with children's ministries?
I started pondering my issue with frustration resulting in anger. Outbursts that can only be equalled by my almost 3 year old son. I pondered how just last week the prayer of my "almost 5" year old son really seemed to "temper" that particular problem. Pun intended. I thought for a few minutes after I had asked my son to pray for me as I felt I was going to "lose it", how sad is that. My poor son who has to pray for his mom because she's going to lose her mind to frustration, shouldn't this be the other way around? I decided though, through the encouragement of friends, that I was teaching him to go to God when you feel you just can't deal anymore. Atleast that's what I'm sticking with anyway...lol. Not the ideal way to teach him I suppose but atleast he won't grow up thinking his mother is perfect right? I have defineately proven to him that I need God to get me through the day. That thought took me to another place I hadn't thought I would revisit. Back to the days of full time employment.
You see, if you have known me for longer than a few years, you would know that I have been a hairstylist for 26 years. 21 of those years without children. I was used to having one on one relationships with my clients. Listening to their deepest darkest confessions and funny stories about their daily events. Over those twenty something years, I have done everything from apprenticing, to managing salons, compete in hair competitions at a provincial level, to starting my own business, renting a chair, educate apprentices to become an educator at a school for hair design to become what the industry likes to label a "master stylist, master colourist and master judge". I was used to a certain level of respect from my peers. I was used to people listening to me. I was used to people, for the most part, doing as I asked. As far as students and coworkers or assistants went that is. I was used to working with adults. I started to realise that I had more patience and understanding for the adults I had a associated with, whether I liked them or not, than I had for my children, whom I love with all of my heart and soul.
I began to realise that my "job" as I knew it, over a span of twenty years, was in the past. My "job" now is to manage this house, to support my husband and to sow the seeds of God's love in the lives of my children. To teach them, to spend time with them, to love them. To watch them and take enjoyment as they learn new skills and enjoy the simplicity of their lives while sowing the seeds of knowledge that they will reap as they mature. I pray daily that God protects my boys, my precious gifts from Him. I pray He uses them to be mighty men of God one day. Daily I have to remind myself that they are not really mine, they are His, and it's my job to guide them back to Him. I've realised that my impatience, frustration and anger came from a place of insecurity, of not knowing how to achieve that seemingly impossible new responsibility. I realised when I had to learn how to do something I would go to and surround myself with "experts". "Master's" in whatever field or subject I needed to learn. I realised I had to do that as a mother. God gave me wonderful "teachers" already. My own mother, my grandmother, Mrs. Nellie Wallace, Mrs. Silvia Powell, Mrs. Dawn Bon Bernard, many ladies of the church that are godly women. Most of all though He gave me the example of Jesus Christ. My instruction book is the Bible, my example is the life and teachings of Jesus. My master is God. In that knowledge I have peace. I have confidence to boldly approach the thrown of my Father when I am in need of instruction. I am thankful for the examples He has placed in my life.
The job is great and honourable, the time is short. Enjoy every precious moment and make it count!
